Update 09/19/2015

I have been doing a lot lately.  Recently, I have been reviewing the writing for Captured.  The writing seemed rushed.  Now I am back with better writing skills.  I’m going to make an effort to have three to four sentences per paragraph.

Seeing a great wall of text can tire someone out.  Some of my paragraphs were five or more sentences and the dialogue boxes were half the size of some of the characters.  For example, ever seen an intelligent long post on Facebook but there are no paragraphs?  In most cases, people will ignore that post because of how huge the text is.  It does not matter how heart warming or intelligent the contents of the post is.

Some of the personalities have been altered.  I remembered that my main character was a teenage girl who is extremely sheltered.  It would make sense if Amenti did make some really stupid mistakes because that is what a lot of teenagers do.  Remembering the age of my teenager made making new writing changes easier.


About DarkSiren

I'm a writer, drawer, and programer starting with Ren'py and Flash games. I focus on making story focused game rich with romance, world building, and three dimensional characters. Dark Siren Games is my website. darksirengames@gmail.com is my email address.

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